


It's Not Tonight

by LemonCakeDesign



Series: Almost (Sweet Music) [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blow Jobs, Drugs, Friends With Benefits, Grief, M/M, Pike and Thancred: Slutty BFFs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, shameless thancred thirst on the author's part turns into angst oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-23 13:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21320890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonCakeDesign/pseuds/LemonCakeDesign
Summary: It's not tonightWhere I'm set alightAnd I blink in sightOf your blinding lightPike thinks Thancred is very, very pretty.
Relationships: Haurchefant Greystone/Warrior of Light, Warrior of Light/Thancred Waters
Series: Almost (Sweet Music) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535039
Comments: 5
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If it wasn't clear by the tags or the rating, this fic is very NSFW.

Thancred watches as the resident healer at the Waking Sands, Seren, clicks a tongue at Pike as she lays a bandage over the large burn on his side. “There’s nothing for it, I think. You’re going to have a scar here.”

Pike shrugs, frowning as he pulls at the burn. “Doesn’t bother me much, Seren. Men tend to like their adventurers kinda rough looking.”

Seren gives him a long look. “You’re going to be in my sick bay a lot, aren’t you.” The fairy at her side giggles, or at least Thancred thinks she does. It's hard to tell when sparkling is her main mode of communication.

“Maybe. We’ll see. The next primal might just kill me,” Pike says with dark humor, looking over at Thancred.

Thancred gives him a tight smile. Watching the young man being bandaged up like this only compounds his guilt from not being there as he fought Ifrit. Pike triumphed, and Valliant had been there shortly to help him, but it still rankled to have sent his friend into danger.

Seren hands Pike a bottle. “This potion will reduce the pain, but it’ll likely make you very tired. If you’ve got anything to do, get that done before you take it. I'm going to bed, wake me if there are any complications." She gives a lazy wave to the two of them, then steps out of the sick bay, her fairy trailing after her.

Pike nods and gives her a thumbs up. Thancred opens his mouth to say something, but Pike downs the potion before he speaks. He’ll just have to shorten his speech, then.

“I-Pike, I would like to apologize for my lateness,” Thancred says. “My not being there led to you getting injured, and that is inexcusable.”

Pike waves a lazy hand. “It’s fine, Thancred. I had Valliant with me. Besides, if you’d been there, wouldn’t you have been tempered by Ifrit too?”

“Perhaps, but that’s just a hypothetical.”

“So’s you keepin’ me from getting injured, babycakes,” Pike says, and Thancred’s brain shorts out. Babycakes? “So take that frown off your pretty face and let it go, okay?” He leans over and boops Thancred on the nose.

Thancred wrinkles his nose with confusion and worry. “Pike, are you alright?”

“I’mmm great, Thancred.” He giggles lightly. “Your name’s funny. Thaaaaancred. Like thank you but not.”

“By Hydaelyn, what did that woman give you?” Thancred looks over at the empty vial, and at that point Pike sits up and slides off the bed, landing unsteadily on his boots. “What are you doing?”

“I’m booooored,” Pike drawls, swaying slightly. “Where’s Minfilia? Does she know how pretty she is? Her hair is very nice. I wonder if she’ll let me touch it.”

“I think she may be busy, Pike,” Thancred says slowly, standing to steady the unstable Warrior of Light. It’s amusing to see Pike like this, for sure. “But I will let her know later.”

“Yay!” Pike cheers, stumbling further into Thancred in his excitement. He turns to look at Thancred. “Thancred, you’re such a good friend. And pretty too.” Pike pats Thancred on the cheek.

“I think we may need to get you into bed, Pike,” Thancred says, amusement coloring his tone. He’ll have to tell Valliant about this, for certain. She’ll love to tease Pike about it.

“Thancred, I didn’t know you felt that way about me!” Pike says with a grin. He swoons dramatically. “I accept.”

“Twelve above,” Thancred says, looking to the ceiling. “I meant to sleep, Pike.”

“Shh,” Pike places a finger on Thancred’s lips, smushing them into his face. “Don’t speak. They’re listening.”

“What? Who?” The words come out awkwardly through the finger still placed on Thancred’s lips.

Pike doesn’t pay attention to the question, his hand shifting to Thancred’s hair. “It’s so soft,” he says faintly, twirling a strand between two fingers. “I hope my hair’s this nice when I’m old.”

Thancred gently pulls the hand out of his hair. “Pike, do you want to go lay down?” He asks, trying to redirect his attention.

“Noooooo, that’s boring,” Pike says, swaying heavily. Thancred has to strain to keep him upright. “‘Sides, then they’ll get me. I don’t want them to get me.”

“No one’s going to hurt you, Pike,” Thancred says with a gentle tone. He starts guiding them out of the sick bay, towards Pike’s room. “I think you’ll feel better if you lay down.”

“I feel fiiiiiiine,” Pike slurs, stumbling as they move. “Don’t wanna lay down.”

Thancred steadies him, and keeps them moving forward. “I’m sure you do, truly.” 

“I just want to look at your pretty face, Thaaaaaancred.” Pike smiles dopily. “It’s so nice. You’re so nice.”

“I’m glad you think so,” he chuckles. 

“No, I mean it. You’re great.” Pike stops and turns to face him, a very serious expression on his face. He places both his hands on either side of Thancred’s face, peering into his eyes. “I can see that you don’t think that, but you are, Thancred. You’re a hero.”

Thancred feels very odd at that. He carefully detaches Pike’s hands from his face, and Pike stares at them in wonder. “Thank you, Pike. Now, let’s get you to bed, hm?”

* * *

Pike wakes up in a foreign room, shirtless, with a raging headache. He has no memory of the how he got there, but this sort of thing isn’t unfamiliar to him. Ale and beautiful men are a dangerous combination for Pike, after all.

He sits himself up slowly, experience telling him that he’s liable to make himself sick if he goes to fast. He attempts to take stock of his surroundings. He’s still in the Waking Sands, judging by the walls in the room. Pike catches sight of a white tunic slung across the back of a chair, which looks familiar, though he can’t quite place it.

That is, until Thancred walks into the room holding a glass of water. Pike’s eyes widen at the sight of him. Thancred’s eyes land on Pike, and he smiles. “Ah, the Primal Slayer finally awakens!”

“Menphina bless me,” Pike mutters, clutching one of his hands to head. Thancred holds the water out to him, and Pike accepts it, pressing the cool side of it to his head. 

“Mm, that potion did quite a number on you,” Thancred says, settling on the edge of the bed. “Seren said you had an adverse reaction to one of the ingredients. It can be known to cause...strange behavior, in Miqo’te. She got it mixed up with another, similar one.”

“So we didn’t have sex?” Pike blurts out, before clapping a hand to his mouth. Stupid hangover, making him say whatever is on his mind.

Thancred bursts out laughing, and he brushes tears from the corners of his eyes. “No, not at all. I meant to be here when you woke, in case you were confused. Seren mentioned it could happen. Sorry to have worried you.”

Pike sighs, and takes a sip of the water. It clears the fuzzy feeling in his mouth, and he can feel the headache fading. “Thank the Twelve.”

“Oh, don’t act too relieved, you may wound my pride,” Thancred says with humor. “Although, the amount of times you informed me how pretty I am more than makes up for it.”

Pike groans loudly. “I _ didn’t _.”

“Oh, you did. You called me a hero and everything, though I must admit to being confused to the basis of that claim.”

Pike cocks his head to the side in confusion. “What do you mean? You literally risk life and limb in service of Eorzea. That’s heroic.”

“I…” Thancred looks a bit shocked. “I suppose when you put it like that, you’re right.”

Pike finishes the water, setting the glass gently on the nearby table. “Of course I am, Thancred.” He stands and stretches, and then pats Thancred on the shoulder. “I’m right about you being pretty, too. Though a better way to describe you would be rugged, I think.”

Thancred stands to face him. “I think I rather like rugged,” he says in a low voice.

They’re very close at this point, so close Pike can hear Thancred’s every breath. “Do you now?”

Thancred reaches out, tipping Pike’s chin up to look him directly in the eye. “I do. I think you would win the pretty award, however, if it came down to it.”

Pike feels like he’s going to melt. He bats his eyes. “And what would be my prize?”

Thancred smirks, and leans down to capture Pike’s lips in a toe-curling kiss. It’s slow and languid, ramping up in passion as it goes on. Thancred’s hands slide down Pike’s body, drawing him in closer.

Pike takes this as encouragement, and he pushes Thancred into the bed. “Think you can keep up with me, old man?”

Thancred flips them over, looming over Pike. “Age breeds experience, as they say.”

Pike soon learns that he is very, very right.

* * *

“You didn’t leave any obvious marks, did you?” Pike asks, as he shimmies himself back into his pants. “I _ really _ don’t want to have to answer that question.”

“No, I kept below the collar bone only,” Thancred says, pulling his tunic back over his head. “‘Twould be most improper to go any higher.”

“None of what we just did would be called proper in any decent circle.”

“I only keep to the indecent ones, myself.” Thancred smirks at him. Pike rolls his eyes.

A realization dawns, and Pike bites his lip as he glances over at Thancred. “This isn’t going to be a feelings thing, right? Because that was fun, and all, but I don’t really..._ do _ relationships.”

“Neither do I, so we are both in luck.” Thancred finishes lacing up his boots. “I am up for a repeat performance, if you’re ever interested, however.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Pike says with a grin. He looks down. “Shit, I don’t have a shirt.”

“Take one of mine, no one will notice. And most of them know you stayed here last night, they won’t think anything of it.” Thancred stretches, and for a moment Pike catches a glimpse of skin as the tunic rides up.

He turns around quickly, snatching the spare tunic off the back of the chair. He’s already been here a touch too long for plausible deniability’s sake, and staring at Thancred’s stupid, sexy abs might get him back into trouble.

He finishes pulling the shirt over his head and turns back to Thancred, who’s watching him closely. Thancred steps closer to Pike, his hands taking up the strings on the front of the shirt and tying them closed. Pike feels weak in the knees, and he clears his throat as he steps away.

“I’m gonna-I’m gonna go, be-before-yeah, okay bye Thancred see you later!” Pike runs out the door, his cheeks bright red.

Stupid, sexy, Thancred.

* * *

Thancred crushes Pike against the side of the supply closet in a forgotten corner of the Waking Sands, grinding their hips together. Pike gasps with pleasure, arching his neck back as Thancred’s mouth closes over his collarbone. “Gods, Thancred…” he whines.

They’re both riding the high of battle right now, keyed up from a fight in Thanalan. It had been too easy for the both of them together, and the excess adrenaline had spilled over into, well, this.

Thancred tugs impatiently at the straps of Pike’s armor, his teeth skidding across Pike’s skin. Pike groans louder. “Off,” Thancred growls, tugging at the straps again. Pike nods and yanks on the straps, the cheap leather tearing under his strength. Thancred pulls the remaining pieces away, and pushes Pike’s undershirt up and over his head.

His tongue swirls around one of Pike’s nipples, and he rakes nails down Thancred’s back, a stream of Common and Native Miqo’te spilling out of his mouth. Thancred pulls lightly with his teeth, and Pike’s vision totally whites out for a moment with pleasure.

Pike pushes Thancred back for a moment, his fingers catching the hem of Thancred’s tunic. He pulls it off, and runs reverent hands down Thancred’s muscular chest, landing at the start of his pants. Then he tugs the tie on Thancred’s pants and yanks them and his smallclothes down to reveal his length.

Pike smirks up at Thancred as he lowers himself, taking Thancred’s cock into his mouth. Thancred moans with pleasure, fisting a hand into Pike’s long hair. Not to inflate his ego overmuch, but Pike thinks of himself as an expert on cock sucking. He’s learned the ways to take a man apart with tongue alone, and judging by the noises, Thancred appears to be enjoying his well-earned skills. 

The hand in his hair gives encouragement and direction in equal measure. When Pike pulls out his best trick, minding his fangs as he dives fully down, his nose coming to rest in the fine hairs at the base of Thancred’s cock, the hand grips tight, and a babble of words pours out of Thancred’s mouth. Pike moans around the member in mouth at the pulled hair, and Thancred pulls again, nearly distracting Pike from his careful ministrations.

His rough, cat-like tongue runs over the length of Thancred’s cock as he pulls back, hand coming to replace where his mouth had been. His tongue swirls over the head as his hand twists, gently but firmly, and Thancred goes stiff, his hand holding Pike’s hair yanking and tipping his head back as he spills into Pike’s mouth.

The door to the supply closet opens, and Pike jerks back immediately, swallowing heavily. “Thancred?” And oh god, this is the nightmare scenario. “What art thou doing in-”

Urianger sees Pike kneeling on the ground before Thancred, disheveled and shirtless, breathing heavily. The normally composed Elezen goes stock still, does an about face, and strides out of the closet.

Pike groans and buries his face in his hands. “Twelve strike me down.”

Thancred pulls up his small clothes and trousers, and Pike catches an amused smirk before he pulls himself together. “I have to admit, that is both the worst and best case scenario.”

“In what _ possible _way could this be good?” Pike pulls himself off the floor, hunting for his shirt. “I’m never going to be able to look Urianger in the eye again.”

“Yes, but he won’t breath a word of this to anyone,” Thancred says, pulling his own shirt off the floor and sliding it over his head. “I believe he will be more embarrassed than either of us, once the shock subsides. And besides,” a cheeky grin brims on his face. “It could have been Valliant.”

“You would have been out a primal slayer,” Pike says. He considers his ruined armor, and sighs. It was due a replacement anyhow. “I would have died of embarrassment on the spot.”

Thancred chuckles, and he steps closer to Pike. He brushes a hand across Pike’s cheek, a moment just a touch too intimate. “We shall count our blessings, then. I rather like you more alive than dead.”

“I’m sure you do.” Pike huffs out a disgruntled breath. Thancred leans down, but Pike places a finger on his nose, pushing him back. “Don’t even try to seduce me right now, all I can think about is Urianger and I don’t think _ either _ of us want to hear me moan out his name accidentally during sex. Ugh. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go drown myself in ale and forget this ever happened.”

* * *

What they’re doing isn’t healthy.

Pike is still grieving Haurchefant, and Thancred has just learned of Minfilia’s fate. Neither one is in the right headspace to be doing something like this. And yet, a light touch on Pike’s elbow sends him crashing into Thancred. And when he looks into Thancred’s eyes, there’s something there. A plea.

The cold air of the Coerthas Western Highlands stings on Pike’s bare back as Thancred thrusts into him. He grips Thancred’s shoulders tightly, pressing crescent moons into his skin. Thancred’s mouth finds the junction of his neck and bites, drawing a keening moan from Pike.

He can’t help but compare him to Haurchefant. Haurchefant was always slow, pulling Pike apart with gentle touches and slow movements, savoring the moment. With Thancred, it’s like he’s trying to drive the grief out with every thrust, like the harder he fucks Pike the easier it’ll be to forget.

It’s not about love, but about distraction.

Pike loses himself in the heat of their bodies, clinging to Thancred with desperation. He matches every thrust with a movement of his own, dragging nails down Thancred’s back as he streams out moans and pleas. He does his best to keep another name out of his mouth. He only half succeeds, and every syllable of it is a knife into his heart.

The name Pike cries into the pillow beneath him is not the same as the man who spills his seed into him. Thancred, for his part, only whispers Pike’s name as he topples over the edge. It hurts more than anything else. When they are spent, Pike rolls over, his back to Thancred, and lets the exhaustion take him into the morning.

* * *

Thancred stares down at Pike’s sleeping face.

It’s hard to see the esteemed Warrior of Light, primal slayer, savior of Eorzea, when he’s asleep like this. The constant guarded look in his eyes is gone, and the aura of competence and battle-ready he projects is fallen. He looks every bit his twenty-five years.

Thancred traces a design across Pike’s cheekbone, marvelling at how smooth his skin is. His hand dips down, trailing across Pike’s neck to his chest, exposed where the blanket has fallen away from his form. The barest hint of a scar on his collar bone bumps under his fingertips, and he wonders, idly, what the story is there.

Pike is littered with scars, more than even Thancred himself. Not all come from a life of adventure, of that he’s sure, the number too great and some too faded to be from Pike’s few short years in Eorzea. 

He wants to know Pike’s story, he realizes. Wants to hear about every scar, both physical and mental. Wants to share his _ own _ story, spill every secret clutched against his heart. He longs for the intimacy of that, one of the genuine human connections he’s never had the chance to experience. He’s never shared more than necessary, not even with Minfilia. Old spy habits, he supposes.

When did that stop mattering to him with Pike?

This is...dangerous. Thancred keeps himself at a distance for a reason. And Pike is…

Pike shifts in his sleep, murmuring something. Thancred catches a name. Haurchefant.

This is very dangerous.

Thancred shoves whatever soft and sentimental feelings he just had directly into the distant corner of his mind, the place he’d like to shove his grief once it stops feeling so big and encompassing. He pulls his hand away from Pike, and slowly eases himself off the bed, careful not to wake Pike.

He dresses himself in silence and steals out of the room, carefully keeping himself from looking back at Pike.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Each love I could lose_   
_I was never the same_   
_Watch it's still living roots be consumed by the flames_   
_I was fixed on your hand of gold_   
_Laying waste to my loving long ago_
> 
> Grief can be messy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some violence during a sex scene right at the beginning. If that would be triggering to you, feel free to skip to where it says "Thancred wakes suddenly"

_ Thancred _ , Pike moans, caught on the sharp edge of pleasure.  _ Please. _

_ Shhh, I know, _ Thancred murmurs back, gently thrusting into Pike. He runs fingertips over scars, the symphony of stories painted across Pike’s back. Thancred hilts himself completely within Pike, and when Pike throws his head back in a wordless howl, Thancred’s mouth captures his exposed neck.

Thancred grips Pike’s hips, holding him close as he moves in and out of him.  _ More _ , Pike gasps, and Thancred, eager to please, speeds up, slamming into Pike over and over. 

One of his hands moves to Pike’s throat, holding him down to the bed.  _ Thancred _ , he chokes out. Chokes, because now both of Thancred’s hands are on his throat, squeezing tight. Pike struggles, hands scrambling across Thancred’s, but he can’t free himself. His breathing grows labored, then totally quiet. 

Lahabrea laughs in Thancred’s ear. 

Thancred wakes suddenly, drenched in sweat. It takes him a long time to come to himself, and the ghost of Pike’s breath slowly fading haunts him as he sits up. 

It’s not totally unlike him to have dreams about being under Lahabrea’s control. They’ve slowed, recently, as he’s gotten further away from that time, but they’re still there, especially when he feels guilt like a fresh wound. 

This is the first time Pike has featured in any of those dreams, however. 

He knows why he was there, but he’s not going to acknowledge that to himself right now.  _ Dangerous, _ some thought whispers, and Thancred agrees. 

Sleep won’t be back for him tonight, he knows, and the light of dawn shines faintly through his window anyway, so he casts aside the bedsheets that his legs are still tangled in, and sets about getting ready for the day. 

The dark mood lingers as he dresses, and descends the stairs of the inn at Falcon’s Nest. It’s only shaken, briefly, as he meets Pike on the way down.

Pike barely acknowledges him, only giving a short nod before continuing down the stairs. Thancred tries not to take it personally. He did leave Pike alone after that night, after all. 

The day goes to shit pretty quickly, and by the end of it all, a civilian shot down and Thancred having slugged Pike’s former brother-in-law, he’s forgotten the dream. It doesn’t ease the guilt as he looks at Pike, however, bound by airship back to Ishgard.

Pike doesn’t speak to him, busy tuning the lyre on his bow. Thancred gets a little lost watching those hands nimbly twist knobs, his mind summoning up images of them working on him last night. He shakes his head to clear them, and as he shifts, Pike looks up and catches him watching.

“See something you like?” Pike asks, plucking experimentally at the lyre.

“Fishing for compliments, are we?” Thancred finds himself falling into old patterns with Pike. It’s nice, honestly, to be reminded of the early days. Back when their biggest issues were the occasional primal summoning.

“I don’t need to be reminded of how good I look, thanks. Though waking up alone in bed does tend to make a guy question himself.”

Thancred cringes, glancing away from Pike. “Ah, yes, well...I have no excuses. I was...overwhelmed.”

“I probably shouldn’t have come onto you when you just lost Minfilia.” Pike sets his bow aside, and as Thancred looks back, he catches a flash of guilt. Which just compounds the guilt heavy in his own breast.

“I shouldn’t have reciprocated so soon after you lost your husband,” Thancred notes. “Perhaps neither of us were our best selves last night.”

“Mm.” Pike’s hands twist nervously in his lap. “I...can we not talk about it? I’m all kinds of messed up right now, and I don’t really have answers for...what happened.”

“Let us agree to let it never happen again, and that shall be the end of that.” Thancred holds out a hand.

Pike huffs out, not quite a laugh, and takes his hand, giving it a firm shake. “Agreed.”

* * *

_ I should stop making promises, _ Pike thinks, as Thancred’s mouth moves down his neck. Try as he might, he can’t seem to make himself stop what’s happening.

Pike had been very, very good, he thought. He had kept his distance from Thancred, and Thancred had kept his distance from him. They’d spoken, of course, they were still friends. And then the grand melee had happened.

It was...fun, for once. Pike hadn’t had much honest fun since Haurchefant had died. He’d stuck to his bow for now, still not comfortable enough with the skills of a Paladin to stake Ishgard’s morale on it, and that was probably the only reason he had made it out of the fight with Raubahn.

And he had been celebrating his victory, not quite smiling, but proud regardless, when Thancred returned, injured. He tried to deflect, but Pike knew better, and had resolved to check up on him that night.

He’d arrived at Thancred’s room after debriefing with Aymeric and Alphinaud. He’d knocked, been let in, and demanded Thancred take his shirt off so he could check up on the wound.

In hindsight, putting himself in a room with Thancred, shirtless, was a recipe for disaster.

At some point, Pike had looking at the freshly bandaged wound, searching for any sign of blood leaking through. He had gently touched it, and looked up at the hiss Thancred had let out. And suddenly he realized they were very, very close, and Thancred tilted his head down...when Pike’s rational thought caught back up, he was straddling Thancred, kissing him desperately.

Thancred’s mouth reaches his collarbone, and Pike finds it very hard to concentrate on anything but him sucking on the bite mark from the other night. He moans, throwing his head back, and Thancred’s hands slip under his shirt, pushing it up. Fingers skate across his skin, goosebumps trailing their presence and making Pike shiver.

Thancred pulls back, just long enough to pull Pike’s shirt off, and then his mouth is back on Pike, kissing down from the bite mark to Pike’s nipples. Pike gasps as Thancred’s tongue circles one, and his fingers thread into Thancred’s hair, desperately searching for purchase.

White hot pleasure turns low in him as Thancred’s hands slide down his hips, coming to rest at the tie of Pike’s pants. His mouth moves back up to Pike’s ear, whispering huskily, “Tell me what you want, Pike. I want to make you feel good.”

“Make me forget, just for a night,” Pike whispers back. Thancred pauses for a moment, and he looks into Pike’s eyes. He’s still wearing his stupid eyepatch, leaving his expression hard to read. Finally, he nods, and recaptures Pike’s lips in a fervent kiss.

Pike forgets, for a time. Thancred opens him up with careful fingers, slowly and then faster, as Pike begs for him to go faster. He wants to feel filled, to make the hole in his chest go away. Pike focuses on the pleasure, on the parts that feel good, and for a time he forgets.

Thancred slides into him from behind, bottoming out and Pike gasps out, the rush of it all overwhelming his senses for moment. Thancred waits for a moment, gives him time to adjust, and then he retracts, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back in. Pike’s fingers dig into the pillow as he moans with his whole being.

Thancred thrusts into him for a time, his pace varying and leaving Pike utterly undone. Then Thancred gently guides him over, flipping Pike onto his back, and the feeling is so good, Pike feels like he’s out of his body. That is, until Thancred slows and stops. Pike makes a noise of displeasure, and it comes out weirdly choked.

“Pike, you’re crying,” Thancred says, touching his face gently.

Oh. So he is.

Pike tries to speak, but all that comes out is a broken sob. The reality of the moment catches up with him, and shame pours over him. Thancred slides out of him, and when he reaches out a hand to Pike, Pike flinches back.

“I-I-I,” Pike tries to speak again, between the sobs wracking his body, and he breathes in shakily before he tries one more time. “I need to go.”

He grabs what clothes he can find and dresses in a hurry. His hands shake and he feels sick to his stomach.

“Pike-”

What he’s got on is enough, and he runs out of the room, ignoring Thancred calling after him.

* * *

He doesn’t see Thancred again until Alisiae is injured.

“You look nice,” is the first thing Thancred says to him. It’s not a compliment.

“Thanks,” Pike says, trying not to rise to the bait. His eyes land on Alisiae, and he softens.

Thancred doesn’t speak to him directly for the rest of the night, but Pike’s not going to let that stop him. He’d hoped to speak with him after the peace conference, then Alphinaud had wanted to meet, and by the time he returned to the rest of his colleagues, Thancred had gone off. Apparently to stalk the so-called Warriors of Darkness.

So, given the opportunity to make sure Thancred won’t run off again, he takes it. 

“Let me accompany you to the infirmary,” Pike says. “I have experience in poisons, I can give them some idea.”

Thancred’s eyes narrow at him, but Pike doesn’t much care. He’s going to have this conversation, one way or another. Besides, if it  _ is _ similar to the arrows he uses, better to know ahead of time.

Thancred doesn’t seem liable to wait very long, so Pike promises to meet Alphinaud later, and hurries off with him. The knight bearing Alisiae has already left, so it’s just the two of them, trudging through the snow. Pike regrets not wearing a warmer coat.

He’s not sure if the shaking in his hands is the nervousness of being around Thancred again, or the cold. Either way, he shoves them into his pockets to prevent Thancred from noticing.

Not that Thancred looks at him to notice, anyway.

They walk for a few good moments before Pike gathers up the courage to speak. “Thancred-”

“Pike-”

They both fall silent. Pike gestures for Thancred to go ahead.

He sighs. “If you are here to tell me nothing more can happen between us because of Ser Aymeric, I believe you made yourself clear that night in my room that you wanted nothing more to do with me.”

“I-what? What does Aymeric have to do with any of this?” Pike blinks in confusion. Of all things Thancred could have said here, this is not what he had thought.

Thancred gestures to his outfit. “You were on a date with him, were you not?”

“My husband has been dead only six months, I hardly think I’m ready to date anyone,” Pike says. “It was just a dinner, believe me.”

“But we…”

“Had sex? Yes, we did. That wasn’t exactly me at my healthiest, Thancred.” Pike shakes his head. “Which is what I wanted to talk about. I’m sorry for using you to...quiet my grief. It wasn’t fair to you. I hope you don’t think too badly of me for that.”

Thancred shakes his head. “It’s not as if I wasn’t an active player in that, Pike.”

“You weren’t the one crying during sex, though,” Pike says, scuffing his boot through the snow.

Thancred laughs. “If you think that means I was in any stable state, then I do not know what to tell you. So that wasn’t...I didn’t cause that?”

It’s Pike’s turn to laugh. “My husband had only died two months before and you think you were the one making me cry? My, you  _ do  _ think highly of yourself.”

“Somebody has to,” Thancred laughs in return.

They walk in companionable silence for a little bit, before Pike speaks again. “Hey, Thancred?”

“Yes?”

“Thanks. For, you know, understanding.” He gestures vaguely. “I know I’m not always the easiest person to be around. I can barely stand me some days.”

Thancred shrugs. “I’ve never once resented your company, Pike.”

Pike feels very, very warmed at that comment, and suddenly the cold air of Ishgard isn’t so bad.

* * *

Thancred comes out of the aetherial sea, and he feels...complicated. Pike touches his elbow gently, a wordless gesture of comfort. Thancred shakes his head, gives a faint smile, and Pike nods and turns back to the rest of their comrades.

Thancred takes the chance to be alone, get some breathing room, when the topic of the crystals comes up. Pike gives him another look as he departs with the rest of their comrades, but whatever he thinks, he doesn’t share, just gives Thancred a nod. Thancred’s thankful for the understanding.

He uses the trip to Ishgard to breathe, and meditate on his feelings. It had been hard to see Minfilia again, after so much time. He had almost forgotten what she looked like, and in truth, she looked completely different now. Thancred had never stopped seeing Ascilia, not even as she grew, had never thought of her as a woman who could stand on her own two feet.

But now, he sees  _ Minfilia _ , the woman who had stepped up for Eorzea, for the world, and now for a world none of them knew. It was truly inspiring.

And yet, inspiration doesn’t keep the grief at bay.

He regrets so much with Minfilia, and more than the time they did share, he mourns the time they didn’t. The time he’d spent on his missions, his espionage for the Circle of Knowing. He had told himself it was necessary, and perhaps it was, but it didn’t mean he would be free of regret over it.

But Minfilia would not want him to live in the regrets, and so he sets those aside, and strides forward into the future. Or, into Ishgard, as it was.

Ser Aymeric smiles at him as Thancred enters his office. “Master Waters, how thankful I am to see you hearty and whole. I assume the same holds true for our mutual friends?”

“Yes, the rest of the Scions are just fine, if a bit tired. The battle was quite a long one.” Thancred doesn’t give the finer details, just paints the broad strokes for Aymeric, and he nods along.

“Thank you for informing me,” Aymeric says. “I am glad to hear that the Warriors of Darkness will no longer plague us. And I swear that we shall keep a closer eye on our crystal trade in the future. Ishgard has done it’s fair share of hurt to the realm without aiding and abetting the summoning of primals.”

Thancred nods. “If that’s all, the Scions will be expecting me.”

“Of course,” Aymeric says, then adds, “Although, if it’s not too much trouble, could you pass a message to Pike for me?”

“A message? Not more dragons, I hope.”

Aymeric laughs. “Nothing of the sort. I merely wish to express my disappointment that our dinner was cut short, and offer the invitation to him once more.” Though his expression remains fairly neutral, the barest hint of a blush tints Aymeric’s cheeks.

A rush of familiar and confusing emotion fills Thancred, and he beats it back as he speaks. “Of course. I shall tell him at first opportunity.” Thancred bows lightly and takes his leave, very carefully not running.

Why, Twelve above, is he feeling  _ jealous  _ at the thought of Pike and Aymeric at dinner?

He has no easy answers, and it needles at him all the way back to Mor Dhona. Thancred arrives shortly after Urianger, Alisiae and Y’shtola do, and all of them leave him alone for now.

F'lhaminn nods to him as he sits across the bar from her. “Don’t fret too much over her fate,” she says, pouring him a drink, and then one for herself. “She wouldn’t want that.”

Thancred tips his glass to her, and swallows it in one gulp. “That I know far too well. It’s not her that I’m ‘fretting’ over, as you say, selfish though it may seem.”

“I wouldn’t worry about seeming selfish, Thancred. Emotions will be what they are.” F’lhaminn’s look turns a bit shrewd as she pours another drink. “Troubled over another, then. One of our young colleagues, perhaps?”

Thancred nearly chokes on the liquor, and he coughs against the burn. She laughs at his spluttering, and he levels her with a glare. “F’lhaminn,” he hisses, voice hoarse.

She laughs some more and switches his drink for some water, which he downs greedily. “I see the way you look at him, Thancred, it’s easy enough to tell. Don’t worry about anyone else, though, it’s just having known you this long that lets me see.”

Thancred sets the water glass down and reaches for his drink again. “I don’t look at Pike any particular way,” he says moodily. The fact that he knows who she refers to is beside the point.

“Sure you don’t, dear.” F’lhaminn says, and that’s the end of that. 

Pike returns then, conversing quietly with Valliant. His eyes meet Thancred’s from across the room, and Pike looks him up and down, scrutinizing. It’s then that Thancred realizes he’s looking for signs of how  _ he  _ was, when his husband died. The thought warms him slightly.

“I’d best debrief with the other Scions,” Thancred says to F’lhaminn. “Will you be alright?”

F’lhaminn smiles, though there’s a sad edge to it. “In time, as we all will be. Go.”

Thancred nods, and stands, crossing the room to follow Pike and Valliant into the Solar. It hurts, to see Alphinaud standing at the desk instead of Minfilia, but there’s nothing for it. They need to keep forging ahead.

It’s echoed in Pike’s words when he’s asked what he’ll do moving forward. “To strive for those we have lost. For those we can yet save.”

The meeting wraps up, everyone free to go about their business for the day. Valliant claps a hand on Thancred’s shoulder, and he nods to her as she leaves the room. The other Scions keep a wide berth, save Pike, who seeks him out.

“Business with the crystals went alright then?” he asks Thancred.

“Quite. I have Ser Aymeric's assurances that the Temple Knights will henceforth keep a close eye on the Ishgardian crystal trade,” Thancred returns. “Oh, and he extends his deepest apologies for your dinner having been cut short. Courteous fellow, isn't he? You would never guess he was a politician.” He keeps the bitterness out of his voice, or at least tries to.

Pike smiles. “He is, isn’t he.” He bites his lip, clearly debating something internally. “Hey, do you mind sparring with me for a bit? I need to practice against people who aren’t Valliant for a bit.”

It’s a flimsy excuse, Thancred can tell, to keep him from being alone. But the simple act of care warms Thancred, and he nods his assent. They trail out to the informal training yard, and Pike draws his sword from his belt and shield from his back.

“It’s been a while since we sparred,” Pike says. “So don’t go easy, alright?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Thancred responds. He draws his knives, twirling them in a complicated maneuver to show off a bit. Pike grins at him, and bows to Thancred, who mimics him.

Thancred doesn’t wait, and as soon as he’s out of the bow, he’s on Pike, blades slashing down on him. Pike blocks easily, shield moving before Thancred even lands. Thancred bounces off it and takes the momentum to dodge back out of range of the sword that Pike swings at his stomach.

Pike presses in on him, feinting to the right then carving in on the left with his sword. Thancred catches the sword on his blades, but the shock of the force on his arms shifts his footing. Pike spots this, and he sweeps out with a leg, catching Thancred’s weak foot.

Thancred thinks quickly, wrapping his leg around one of Pike’s as he falls, and Pike follows him down. Thancred manages to barely twist in the air so he doesn’t send the armor-clad man on top of him, leaving him straddling Pike and holding his knife to his throat.

“I believe that means I win,” Thancred pants.

Pike smirks, and in a surprisingly dexterous move despite the heavy armor he wears, flips them over. Despite Thancred’s struggles, he can’t displace Pike, and he cedes defeat by lying back in the dirt.

“Not quite,” Pike says. “You’re getting rusty, old man.” 

Thancred can feel Pike’s breath hot on his lips. He feels a surge of lust, deep within him, and before he can thinks he’s dragged Pike down by the front of his armor, capturing his lips in a kiss. It’s messy, their teeth clinking together due to Pike’s surprise, until Pike catches up and presses into Thancred, deepening the kiss.

They break for air, panting, and Thancred doesn’t feel sated. The fire in him only burns brighter, demanding fuel in the form of Pike.

“Thancred, I don’t want to-” Pike stops, and sighs. “I don’t want to do something we’ll regret.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that,” Thancred says. “It can just be like before. When it was fun for the both of us.”

“Fun…” Pike muses. He smiles. “I could do with a bit of fun.”

Thancred smiles in return, and draws Pike back into a kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I wrote a second chapter. My thirst is unquenchable.
> 
> I don't think I have anything else to say? Um. Pike/Thancred was not going to happen originally tbh, but I do love them together. We'll just have to see where that goes, right? This fic takes us up to Stormblood, and that's going to be the next full fic I think. One more little one in between us and that however! It'll go up after this one.

**Author's Note:**

> Seren is my friend Ana's character, who doesn't actually exist in game because she has a life :p She's a Scholar. The title is from Would That I by Hozier, which is also a big Pike/Thancred mood.
> 
> This was just supposed to be a fun fic where I worked out my thirst over Thancred and developed their friendship. And then I was like "Oh grief driven sex is a fun angsty place to go" and Thancred decided "Hey, while we're here, I've actually got feelings?" and *waves hands* this happened. Sorry if the ending feels kind of abrupt or is a downer, it just felt like a good place to stop.
> 
> Anyway this is my first attempt at ever doing smut? So hopefully it came out okay. Not to be TMI but I don't have a dick and I have no idea how they work outside of Harlequin novels so I sorta winged it with a few Cosmo articles. The first scene is a fade to black because I was too lazy to go back and put in an actual sex scene once I decided they were happening.
> 
> ALSO to be very clear the second scene does not happen while Thancred is in any way shape or form possessed by Lahabrea, everybody is being very consensual here. 
> 
> Next up is a very fun Valliant and Pike centric one! Which will probably end up angsty because I have no self control. Also, if anyone has any prompts feel free to comment and tell me what you want to see, or shoot an ask over on my [Tumblr](lemoncakedesign.tumblr.com) or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LemonCakeStream). That's all for shameless plugs lol see y'all next time!
> 
> Edit from the future: Just some slight edits to reflect that Seren is actually a Scholar, not a White Mage.


End file.
